In my more-or-less random wanderings around the Internet, I happened across two very interesting e-books on relationships, both of them on the topic of infidelity.
How to Have an Affair and not get Caught, by Lauren Tallman
From the introduction: “With this guide you will learn how to significantly and almost entirely reduce [sic] your chances of getting caught.”
The author of this guide advises you to slowly change your routine and make deliberate changes in your dress and other habits prior to initiating your affair, in order to mask changes that will occur as a result of having an affair. You will also need to change various other habits so that you can provide “truthful” alibis for your new schedule, and make your excuses more believable when you do start cheating on your spouse. Then you will have to try to keep things as “normal” as possible while you are actively having an affair with your new lover.
The author makes an attempt to write for cheaters of either gender, but isn’t 100% successful with that. It is definitely geared more towards men, although it could be argued that it takes two to cheat. In spite of the somewhat tasteless and hypocritical nature of the topic, the book is fairly well-written.
If you are really determined to cheat on your spouse for whatever reason, you should probably read this book from cover to cover. There is actually some good advice in there. But you should read the next one from cover to cover, too.
Is He Cheating on Me? By S.L. Carter, J.D.
Subtitle: How to know, how to stop it, and what to do if you can’t.
This book is longer, more detailed, and has substantially more information in it than “How to Have an Affair and not get Caught.”
By her own admission, Ms. Carter has had experience on both sides of the issue. I’m guessing that S.L. Carter is a pen name. Judging from the fact that the book is well-written and well-researched (some of that research is 1st-hand experience), her claim to be an attorney is believable.
The biggest problems with having an affair are 1) expense, and 2) time. The easiest way to catch a cheating spouse (at least the male spouse) is to follow the money. Few men have enough money that they can completely bury the money trail, and those men will typically have other problems in the form of paparazzi, who are more than happy to blast out any indiscretion to all of the supermarket tabloids. Checking out the time trail is only slightly more difficult (actually, easier in the case of cheating female spouse), since we all have an equal amount of that, whether we are rich or poor.
In addition, having an affair is going to create subtle (or maybe not-so-subtle) changes in your attitude and behavior. Women are generally quicker to pick up on that sort of thing than men. Oh, and you thought that getting a prepaid cellphone and paying cash would be enough to cover up your infidelity? Guess again.
Like “How to Have an Affair and not get Caught,” this book might also apply to both genders, but the author does dwell more on how a woman can catch a man in the the tangled web he has to weave in an attempt to keep an affair a secret from his wife. Guys, it really boils down to this: If your wife has any gumption at all, you will get caught. Only if your wife is really slow are you likely to get away with it.
In the latter case, one would have to wonder why you are still married. Or why you got married in the first place. Oh, wait, I see… That brings up the question of why she married you.
If you are cheating because you think a divorce is too expensive, wait until you discover how much getting caught is going to cost you, and not just in terms of money. Especially if your cheated-on spouse has read Ms. Carter’s book, because one of the things she covers is how to inflict the maximum financial and emotional pain on a cheating spouse. That’s the part mentioned in the subtitle, about “…and what to do if you can’t.”
If you are contemplating an affair, read both of these books. If you have any gumption, you may figure out a way to either end your marriage, or improve it — instead of cheating on your spouse.
And ladies, if you have any suspicions at all that your husband might be less than perfectly faithful, Ms. Carter’s book is well worth reading. The things you will learn will pay for the book many times over.