Love is a Choice and Not Just a Feeling


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Falling in love is easy but staying in love is a commitment.  At the beginning of the relationship, it’s all about fun times and romance.  Always wanting to be with your partner and experiencing new things together.  But love fluctuates.  What happens when that giddy feeling is gone?  When you start facing challenges and obstacles as a couple?  Are you going to give up? No.  You stay because real love is “for better or for worse”.

To keep the love alive, one must make a choice to stay and commit to it.  It is a decision you make every day.

You have to accept your partner for who they are – flaws, excess baggage and all.  Choosing to love someone is accepting the good, the bad, and the ugly.  That’s when you know you really love that person.  It’s when you discover the red flags and imperfections but you choose to love your partner anyway.

“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.”

– Sam Keen

As the relationship progresses, you tend to discover not only the imperfections but also the faults.  From the little things such as forgetting to flush the toilet or fighting over what movie to watch to the much more serious things like one partner feeling taken for granted.  It is your choice if you want to dwell on these issues or start finding a solution to the problem.  You should understand that everyone in this universe is different from each other and that doesn’t exempt you and your partner.  So it is your choice to accept those differences in order to grow as a couple.

When you stumble on these bumps in your relationship, it’s normal that sometimes you get to question yourself if you really want it; if you still want it.  Some days, you regret the decision you made.  That’s normal.  But what you should do is to calm down and think of all the good things that your partner has and in your relationship.  It is an important decision to remember the ultimate reason why you chose to love that person.

Real love is a choice.  Your relationship will not always be a happy one but the key is for couples to make a constant effort in making it work despite all the trials and differences.

About Toni Marie

Toni is a regular contributing author on GuestRelationshipsBlog. She also likes to write about relationships, money, and health.
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